Fun fact about Mario; when he’s not being an overly keen student, he’s working in an estate agents. As with every job, there are people you don’t mix well with. As superficial as it sounds, I don’t mix with a colleague because he’s so frustratingly old.
Let’s give this colleague an old-school name. Alphred? Nah, that’s Batman’s butler and everyone loves him…. Albert? Yeah, let’s call him Albert.

It’s safe to say that Albert’s a technophobe; he reluctantly has a brick phone from the early 2000’s and despises modern conveniences like online shopping – apparently ‘it’s for lazy people’.
I recently had to work closely with Albert as we were short staffed, so I decided to document everything he done that frustrated me and blog about it because pettiness.

Albert is a father, I know, I’d hate to think of children being raised in such a technophobic environment too. But as I was saying, his daughter needed a revision guide for her GSCE’s. Albert thought it was a good idea to call every single bookstore and check whether the book was in stock. Frustratingly, the book wasn’t in stock at any stores… Half of me was angry that he was doing this on company time and the other half of me was angry at his reluctance to pay for amazon delivery. Regardless, hearing him recite the ISBN made me want to smack him with a whole punch.

As much as we don’t get a long, we still exchange small talk and he asked me my plans for the day. I started talking about balancing uni and a job, then showed him the list of reminders on my phone.
Albert said that he was equally as busy and spoke on taking care of his children, then he proceeded to pull out post-it note after post-it note of reminders he’d written for himself. I couldn’t help but laugh because seeing someone pull so many notes out of his pocket was like a magician with the endless handkerchief trick. Part of me wanted to hide one of his post-it notes and see if he’d noticed because it just seemed like such an ineffective system.

Speaking of inefficiencies, Albert does not believe in satellite navigation. Whenever he goes on an appointment; he Google maps’ the address, then colours in the key parts of the map. I shudder to think of him looking at a physical map and trying to locate himself, all whilst driving the company car. I appreciate that’s how people use to have to navigate, but it’s 2017 now. I didn’t think it could get much worst until he offered to give me a lift home. This guy has a bloody 2000’ atlas in his car! He was planning to navigate the country using a 17-year-old book.

After a long week of doing all of his online work (even though I’m not his bloody PA), he done something which is probably the highlight of my life. Knowing that I was meeting the boss later on upon his return from holiday, Albert gave me a message to pass onto Mr Boss man. Instead of leaving him a voicemail or texting him, Albert gave me a hand written note. Out of respect for my elders I didn’t laugh in his face but seriously?! I’m surprised he didn’t attach that note to a messenger pigeon and send that after the plane.
We’re not in bloody school, no one passes notes around anymore! Just call the bloody guy!

Ergh, I could rant about this all day - my friends are probably tired of hearing me on.
Fortunately, I have a bit of time off work to revise for my uni exam. It’s funny that he grated on me so much that I’m considering a 50% of my final grade exam fortunate, as it distances me from him.

Do you guys know anyone like Albert? Let me know in the comments bellow.

Stay digital,
Mario El :)

Ps - This is 100% true